dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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