Joe is yelling at the trees again.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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