so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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