i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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