he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize