I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
