Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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