Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
