im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
