She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
