This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
