i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
organizing the empties. That sober.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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