I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
