My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Can you repeat that, but with context?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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