I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
