Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
