everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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