how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I love you. Go after that dick
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
