He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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