who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I've blown a few things in my day
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
