yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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