omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
