tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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