The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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