So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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