all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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