I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
