I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
