Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
