one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
