At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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