oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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