my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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