that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
