what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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