A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Found the puke drawer
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
