I wish i was in the wii world.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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