and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize