is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
