Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
