I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
