Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
