Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
