Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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