In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize