therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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