i permit you to call me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
