just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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