I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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