Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
