i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
