The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
