woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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