I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
