I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
