Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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