All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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