So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
