Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
