Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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