Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
