Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
